A County Clare woman, who often goes days without food, has secured a domestic violence Protection Order against her ‘controlling’ terminally ill husband.
At the Family Law Court, Judge Alec Gabbett granted the Protection Order to the woman against her husband after hearing that she would often go two or three days without food as she is not allowed access to finance for food, medication and clothes by her husband.
The woman told Judge Gabbett that “I have lost over one and a half stone”.
The woman said that she “lives in constant fear and panic” of her husband.
After reading her statement grounding her Protection Order application, Judge Gabbett said “you’re having an awful time”.
In her statement, the woman said that “he enjoys when I am scared and upset…I stay in my bedroom and I keep the doors locked where I feel safe”.
The woman said: “In the past he has strangled me and uses the children as weapons against me.”
Addressing the woman after reading the statement Judge Gabbett said “he insults you, puts you down, refuses to give you a separation. You are not allowed access to your finances for food, medication and clothes.”
Judge Gabbett said that the man also engages in ‘gaslighting’ where he makes his wife believe that she did or said something wrong.
On reading the woman’s statement, Judge Gabbett said “you have to ask him for basic needs for yourself. He stops you contacting friends and family”.
The woman said that she doesn’t feel safe. She said: “I am constantly walking on egg-shells.”
The woman told Judge Gabbett that her husband is terminally ill and suffers from several ailments.
Asked has he been physically violent towards her, the woman said “he hasn’t physically touched me”.
Judge Gabbett asked the woman which aspect of her husband’s behaviour frightens her most, she replied “all of it”.
Judge Gabbett said that the woman doesn’t want to leave her bedroom at night to use the bathroom as it could lead to confrontation with her husband and she wants to avoid that.
Judge Gabbett said to the woman “it is a big endeavour for you to come to court today” and in response the woman replied “huge”.
The woman agreed with Judge Gabbett when he said that she was at her wit’s end.
Asked about when the strangling incident took place, the woman replied that “just after we got married”.
The Protection Order was made on an ex-parte basis with the husband not present.
Asked by Judge Gabbett would the man be physically able to come to court, the woman replied “probably”.
Judge Gabbett adjourned the case to June where the husband can contest the woman’s time-limited application for a Safety Order and the Protection Order will remain in place until then.
Judge Gabbett granted a separate Protection Order to the woman against a daughter. The woman said that her daughter has “100pc” taken the side of her father.
The woman said: “I have a recording on my phone and she threatened to push me down the stairs.”
